Testimony BEFORE the Victory

I have often thought that I'd like to see someone get up in church and give a testimony about how they are surviving the trial...not just what happened at the end, when they experienced the victory, but how they sensed God's presence in the midst of the storm. I think this, b/c we have been in one for a while. Sometimes it's even DISCOURAGING to hear about the triumphs people experience, b/c you wonder, why isn't that happening to me? Why isn't God helping me? We even experience spiritual jealousy...how come God is helping that person but not me?

So, although I am not getting up at church and sharing this, I'm posting it up on fb for "all the world" to see.

We are in a storm. We are in a desert. We have been pregnant with a dream that has been a difficult pregnancy and it seems we have been in labor for years. I have written about it before and talked to so many of my friends and acquaintances about it, so it's not news. But it struck me again this morning that God has truly been right there with us through it.

I had the image of a pregnant woman on bed rest. She is unable to do anything, unable to move about, go about her normal activities. It is a terrible trial, waiting. But there is the hope of a new life that keeps her in that bed, taking care of herself and her baby.

This scripture has brought me great comfort through this period: Psalm 27:13-14, "I am still confident of this: that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Boy, that waiting. It's tough. But our hope is in God, that He indeed will bring deliverance. Just like that woman on bed-rest...that baby will come. It is natural law - the baby will be delivered.

So what is our baby? Our hope is for a healthy one, but we never really know what we're going to get when we are expecting a child. And the same with the will of God. We have an idea, dreams and visions of what that child will look like, be like, do, etc.

Already, there have been signs of what is to come. Not what I expected, but better than I could have imagined. Who knew that in the midst of praying through our business trials, God would swoop in and make provision for our Haitian pastor friend? Who knew that I would get to pray for a potential client who is trying to conceive? Who knew that a family from the northeast would find a home here and we would get to speak to them about changing the world? Who knew that our kids would all be gainfully employed and provided for in every way this summer? Who knew that college funds would be made available BECAUSE of our trial?

Our specific prayer list for the things we are believing to happen in our business is still being brought before the Lord daily, but I no longer get disappointed when those prayers aren't answered right away. Or it turns out differently than I thought, and even makes things look worse on the surface.

God is weaving an intricate tapestry of his will on the earth. Over the centuries. Around the world. In different generations, with different people. Through the great and the small; through kings and peasants. He sees it all from the end to the beginning and I know that I am just a small part, but a vital part.

So although the storm isn't over, and much uncertainty remains, I am still confident of this: that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.