Hope Against Hope

I was reading through some old journals last night, amazed at the fact that we've been at this marathon of financial hardship for almost 24 months now. I memorized Ps. 27:13-14 (I am still confident of this: that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living; wait for the Lord, be still and wait for the Lord) LAST October, but it seems so fresh in my mind, like I worked on it yesterday! And I stand in awe of the Lord that we are still intact, in every way. We are so blessed; we are still in the small fraction of a percent of the most:


* wealthy

* healthy

* happily married

* with successful children who love God

* with incredible caring friends

* well-educated



people in the world! Do you realize how rare that is? I know our cup is overflowing, and we have literally nothing to complain about. So we go on praising God as he stretches us from glory to glory.

My latest stretch has been dealing with the idea of hope against hope. I know we've all probably wrestled with the same idea.

When our heart is sick due to deferred hope, what do we do next?
What about the next time the opportunity comes along to hope?
Do we push it down, get cynical, get our hopes up??

I know love hopes all things, so the right thing to do is open our heart again to hoping, but at the same time, that bare heart is

so exposed
so raw

especially if it's recently been disappointed. And perhaps I am still learning what it means to "hope in God" not in the thing I am asking him to accomplish. Seems like such a platitude, but there is a reality there that I still don't think I've grasped.

I have found a peace that plows on through the storm
I have found a joy that jumps over sadness
I have found a love that lights up every room
I have found a trust that teaches how to rest
I have found a grace that guides me by the hand
I have found a strength that stands like a mountain
I have found...I've found You.

You are all I want, You are all I need, everything my heart could HOPE for
We are longing for the glory of the Lord, 'cause we know there's so much more
Only You, fill my soul.

Thank you Kim Walker for recording this amazing song. I have also learned that "only You" really means God in all His fullness, which includes His precious people, my brothers and sisters in Christ who stand with us in all our trials and blessings.

So, if I can just find that sweet spot in the crook of God's arm, where I can snuggle down and rest in Him.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13